A Marriage Lesson

Last night I decided to make my husband a delicious and nutritious meal (well, nutritious compared to the crap we could have been eating). It consisted of veggie burgers, rice and sliced tomatoes. While you might not be that impressed, I was very impressed with myself because I didn’t have much at home to work with. I was 100% thinking I was going to have to run to the grocery store before I set out on a scavenger hunt of our kitchen.

Well, while I was cooking the rice, I was also:

  1. Doing laundry
  2. Emptying the dishwasher
  3. Putting clean sheets on the guest room bed
  4. Texting with my sister
  5. Watching the Real Housewives of Orange County

So I got distracted and burned the rice a little bit. But it was ok because I made enough that I could just soup the non-burned rice off the top.

I started to clean up and put the salvageable rice in a tupperware and scrapped the burned bits off the bottom of the pot. I left them in the pot for the time being, as I was planning to put them in the garbage later on. Unfortunately, Matt wasn’t aware of my plan and when he want to get some more rice, all that was left were the burned bits. Thankfully I caught this, just before his fork went into this mouth.

Me: “Wait… that rice is burned. Let me get you the good rice.”

Matt looked at the rice on his plate. Looked at me. Shrugged and ate it anyway.

That’s true love.

Or… is it just laziness?

What love language do you speak?

I have a secret to confess.

I am currently reading a self-help book. There, I said it.

While I haven’t gone full-on Bridget Jones, I’m definitely moving in that direction. But it is ok, I was a psychology major in school. This is just continuing my education, right?

The book that I am reading is called The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. Now before you start making assumptions about my marriage, let me tell you, it is fine. It is better than fine, it is great. Matt and I are coming up on our first year of marriage next month and the 11th year of our relationship next week. I am amazed by how exciting and new our relationship still feels. And I am truly amazed by how I am constantly reminded why we fell in love 11 years ago.

That being said, I am a big believer in the saying “never stop learning.” I think it is important to apply this to all aspects of your life: never stop learning at your job, never stop learning about yourself, and never stop learning in your relationship. And even though Matt and I have been together for more than a decade, I’m the first to admit that we still have a lot to learn about each other.

The Five Love Languages highlights the importance of being able to express love to your spouse (wow, that word makes me feel old) in a way that your spouse can understand. He calls this type of communicating using the five love languages. The five languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality of Time, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. You can take a quiz to determine what language of love you prefer, here.

Now, I’ve only reach the chapters on Words of Affirmation and Quality of Time, but I am really enjoying the book. It is definitely bringing me back to college and the days when I spend my days in classes like Personality Psychology, The Psychology of Romantic Relationships and The Science of Happiness. Also, I am learning more about myself and the type of love language that I “speak”. I am starting to realize that I speak to Matt in the way that I want to be spoken to, not the way that is best for him. But enough about me, this isn’t a therapy session…

If you are a quality of time person, the book suggests, making a list of all of the activities that you enjoy doing with your spouse. I can definitely see myself in this “language style” so I thought it would be fun to create this list.

Unfortunately, after reading it over, it made me realize how big a nerd I am and how addicted to TV I have become.

A Few of My Favorite Things to Do with Matt

1. Go on long bike rides (however, this is becoming less and less fun as Matt gets more and more in shape and I can’t keep up)

2. Watch House Hunters on HGTV and predict which house they will go with.

3. HBO & ice cream on Sunday nights

4. Receive a note in the mail at work from Matt

5. Hold hands

6. Go to brunch in Brooklyn

7. Do arts & crafts together (this essentially never happens, but the few times it did, I loved it)

8. Watch New Girl and talk about our shared crush on Jess

9. Cook/Bake (particularly when Matt helps me as the sous chef)

and of course 10. Drink Bloodies with our 3rd wheel at Daddy-Os.

So feel free to judge me for reading a self-help book and for actually doing one of the “activities” that it suggested. Just remember, when Matt and I are old, wrinkly and still happily married, I am going to laugh in your face.

(via)

Olympic Contender

(via)

Last night I decided to make a cup of tea to enjoy before I went to bed. I don’t own a tea kettle, so I had to heat up the water in the microwave. As I was waiting for it to heat up, I decided to start unloading the dishwasher (you know how I love to multitask). It didn’t take me too long to put two and two together – I could race the timer on the microwave and see if I could beat it. Ahh, finding competitive aspects to household chores… love it.

I picked up my pace – I only had 2 minutes and 15 seconds to unload everything and put it away in the proper pace. It didn’t take long for me to visualize my myself competing for the gold medal in “dishwasher unloading” at the 2012 Wifery Olympics. I  felt my heartbeat quicken as the seconds ticked down. I threw the last spoon into the silverware drawer a few seconds before the timer went off. VICTORY!

And just think…I was making some nice chamomile tea to enjoy before bed –  something that I thought would provide a little calmness to my night.

Mr. & Mrs.

The main focus of this blog is supposed to be on the little things in life that bring a smile to your face. While not all of my posts achieve this goal, I am hope this one does.

Yesterday, Matt and I received a Save the Date in the mail for our friend’s upcoming wedding. I honestly couldn’t stop laughing when I saw how they addressed it to us (I blocked out our street address so prevent blog-stalkers from finding me!)

Chase & Susie – thank you for being “blog worthy” friends :) Can’t wait for your big day!