My Top Five Guilty Pleasures

Wikipedia defines a guilty pleasure as, “something one enjoys and considers pleasurable despite feeling guilt for enjoying it. The guilt involved is sometimes simply fear of others discovering one’s lowbrow or otherwise embarrassing tastes. Fashion, video games, music,movies and junk food can be examples of guilty pleasures.” I define it as something I like and get enjoyment out of, but would probably be judged for it and therefore, I don’t go around broadcasting it to the world…

or do I?

 

5. Rearranging the dishes in the dishwasher at work

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I’m not going to lie, we have a pretty crappy dishwasher at work. The “spokes” of the rack are spaced much too closely together and we have rather large/thick dishes in our kitchen. People are forced to shove their dishes into place and  the spokes become bent creating even more inefficiency. Regardless of the technical flaws with the machine, people just  pile their dishes into the dish washer, not really taking into consideration proper dish placement, an art form that I have definitely mastered. As a result, I spend approximately 5-10 minutes, probably every day, rearranging the dishes in the dishwasher. Honestly, it is really embarrassing when someone catches me doing this – I try my best to conceal. But the thrill of seeing all the dishes lined up properly, as well as the creation of more usable space, it really quite exhilarating. I know, working with me is pretty much a nightmare dream come true.

4. Refolding, sorting and color coding my clothing

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Every five or six weeks I tackle the project of reorganizing my closet. Most of the time when I begin this project my closet is pretty neat and organized. Or at least that is what most people would think, but not me.  I begin by piling everything onto my bed and begin folding, sorting, and organizing before putting it all back in place. The entire process can take a few hours. In the end, my goal is to have my closet look like the shelves and racks of a high-end designer boutique. I want all of my sweaters to be folder perfectly with a piece of tissue paper inside. I need matching coat hangers – at least within each “section” of my closets (i.e. dresses, skirts, blouses, tank tops, etc). And ideally things should be color coded. Basically, I want my closet to mimic that of Ms. Martha Stewart herself. When Matt and I moved in together this goal became much more challenging as I lost roughly half of the hanging space and now have to deal with his disorganized system, which includes metal hangers and shirts in plastic bags from the dry cleaners. I’ve yet to include his clothing in this re-org project, but I am not too sure how much longer I can hold off. Although Matt would probably be furious with me, the idea of having our entire closet organized is just too tempting.

3. Buying things on sale and bragging about it

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I love a good sale. The thrill of getting something at a discounted price is definitely a high for me. Even though there is typically a huge retail mark up, I think that because I am not paying full price, somehow I have “won”. After nearly every shopping trip where I have saved something, be in 5% off or 75% off, I need to brag about my accomplishments. Typically I call either my mom or my sister – they are the most likely to be impressed and make me feel good about my purchases. Sometimes, if I have purchased a really practical item, I will call my dad. I NEVER call Matt because he always makes me feel guilty about spending money – no matter how much I have saved (major buzz kill –  I guess it is something about perceived savings…) Just last week I called my mom to tell her about the great articles of clothing I got at the Gap, all at ridiculously discounted prices. She was appropriately impressed and even thought about making a trip to her local Gap store as well. Unfortunately in my haste to score a deal, I didn’t try on anything and ended up returning half of the things I purchased this afternoon. Sad. But hey, returning clothes is essentially like making money, right?

2.TLC

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Toddlers and Tiaras. Extreme Couponing. John and Kate Plus Eight. 19 Kids and Counting. Say Yes to the Dress. Sister Wives. Hoarding: Buried Alive. Sarah Palin’s Alaskan Adventure (I know, I just threw up in my mouth a little). You name it – I’ve probably seen it.

I’ve got nothing here – I just like trashy, low quality tv. John Hamm – please don’t hate me. I still love Don Draper.

1. Tween Music

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It began when I was a tween – New Kids on the Block, Spice Girls Britney Spears, ‘N Sync, Back Street Boys and 98°. It then progressed to Hanson, Mandy Moore and Jessica Simpson. Lindsay Lohan, Jesse McCartney and Hilary Duff rounded things out as I ended the teenage chapter of my life and entered my 20s. Unfortunately, my love of the tween pop sensation stayed with me. Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers, the Cast of High School Musical, Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber  all  make regular appearances on my iPod.

And now, there’s Carly Rae.

Please don’t judge me.

A Case of the Mondays

I know this blog is supposed to be about the positive things in my life, but sometimes, you just need to vent.

Today I was lacking PMA and didn’t have the best day. I think that maybe I was being punished for watching the Dance Moms marathon yesterday. In my defense, I was only watching the show while I was folding the 2,000 loads of laundry I did over the weekend (how one boy is able to produce SO much dirty laundry is beyond me!) Either way that show is like a train wreck – it is TERRIBLE but you can’t seem to look away.

The day started off ok – Matt and I walked to the subway together which is always a nice treat. However, my mom skipped out on our nearly daily phone conversation (pathetic, I know) as she had a tennis match. Immediately I felt neglected. Thankfully, Abby’s sister ESP kicked in and she called me. It was such a treat to talk to her –  her swim team had their conference meet this past weekend and she coached BOTH the men and women‘s teams to victories. Naturally, Abby lost her voice in the process (yes, she is intense) so this was the first time I had actually talked to her in about 4 days. Abby, “I am proud of you, say I am proud of you.”

I then stopped off at Dunkins for my morning coffee – unfortunately something that normally makes me so happy was ruined by the fact that they forgot to put Splenda in my coffee. I blame the group of 6 foreign tourists who were making a scene trying to have an “American experience.”

Once I arrived at work, my ability to focus was distracted by two things: my work BFF returned from her vacation with a ridiculous tan – like seriously, I can’t even get that tan even in my dreams. Secondly, the intense flourescent lights have started to drive me crazy (literally, crazy). Let’s do something about this people – I vote for a return to candle light.

I went out to lunch with my coworker so that I could catch her up on everything she missed last year. I ordered a grilled cheese sandwich with sliced tomato. If anything can cure a case of the Mondays, that can. Unfortunately, they forgot to make my sandwich and I had to wait 40 minutes for it! Instead of sitting and eating leisurely, I had to scarf it down which resulted in a grease induced stomach ache for the afternoon.

On my way home from work, I forgot to put the Netflix I had been carrying around all day in the mailbox. Sadly, that delays my next shipment of “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn” for another day. Matt will probably scold me for that one – I know he has been dying to see the wedding between Bella and Edward.

When I arrived home, I was expecting to receive a package from Soap.com, my new favorite place to buy paper towels, shampoo and lysol wipes. Unfortunately, our mail room has become ridiculously slow and delayed in processing the packages, so it looks the joy I was hoping to receive from testing out my new face wash and putting away the bulk package of toilet paper will be delayed for another day (sigh).

So as you can see, my day wasn’t horrible, it just wasn’t awesome. Sometimes, that happens. You just get a case of the Mondays… but wait…

Today is Tuesday! Suddenly things don’t seem so bad.

My KitchenAid mixer, wine and butter flavored Crisco - my response to the Mondays

My Deprived Childhood

Growing up I spent my weekends at soccer games, hanging out at the Bedford Bluffs (our swim and tennis club), at swim meets and skiing up in Maine at Sugarloaf Mountain. My parents kept Abby and I busy and I never felt like I had really missed out on anything in my childhood.

That is, until now.

Right now I am sitting in my apartment watching tv. Here are some of the comments from the show I am watching that have made it painfully obvious that I missed out on a lot growing up.

“We started spray tanning her when she was 11 months old.”I am sad to report that I got my first spray tan ever THIS year. I missed out on 27 years of bronzed skin.

 

“Popular kids aren’t ugly. The kids that are pretty get recognized sooner. You know, like in red rover, red rover. Well I want her to be my girlfriend, so I am going to call her to be on my team. It is nothing that I can change – it is just the way of the world.”
I thought that you just had to run fast to be good at Red Rover… wish I knew you just had to be pretty. It would have saved me a lot of effort.

 

“I get my groove on, get my pedicure on, get my twinkle toes shined up” (this was said by a father)
My father has never gotten a pedicure with me. No wonder we have such a strained father-daughter relationship.

 

 

“Do you want sparkle baby eyes?”
Umm, yes! I don’t even know what those are but I know that I want them. If only I had been asked…

 

“She didn’t do so good… Maybe everyone else will just mess up really bad and then we’ll be good.”
Now I am not sure about this one. I know my parents certainly supported me, especially in swimming. So maybe my parents did say this after I competed in my swim races. I can only hope!

 

“The screaming and the hitting… I don’t really get embarrassed when my daughter does it only because she is still little and it is still kinda cutesy when she does it… She does it to show the other kids and the moms that she is dominant.”
My parents told me that yelling at them, screaming and hitting wasn’t appropriate. And so ended my world domination.

 

So thank you Toddlers & Tiaras for making it painfully obviously that I had a deprived childhood. Mom and Dad, I think you have a lot to make up for… and I will start with unlimited spray tans for the next 10 years.