A Case of the Mondays

I know this blog is supposed to be about the positive things in my life, but sometimes, you just need to vent.

Today I was lacking PMA and didn’t have the best day. I think that maybe I was being punished for watching the Dance Moms marathon yesterday. In my defense, I was only watching the show while I was folding the 2,000 loads of laundry I did over the weekend (how one boy is able to produce SO much dirty laundry is beyond me!) Either way that show is like a train wreck – it is TERRIBLE but you can’t seem to look away.

The day started off ok – Matt and I walked to the subway together which is always a nice treat. However, my mom skipped out on our nearly daily phone conversation (pathetic, I know) as she had a tennis match. Immediately I felt neglected. Thankfully, Abby’s sister ESP kicked in and she called me. It was such a treat to talk to her –  her swim team had their conference meet this past weekend and she coached BOTH the men and women‘s teams to victories. Naturally, Abby lost her voice in the process (yes, she is intense) so this was the first time I had actually talked to her in about 4 days. Abby, “I am proud of you, say I am proud of you.”

I then stopped off at Dunkins for my morning coffee – unfortunately something that normally makes me so happy was ruined by the fact that they forgot to put Splenda in my coffee. I blame the group of 6 foreign tourists who were making a scene trying to have an “American experience.”

Once I arrived at work, my ability to focus was distracted by two things: my work BFF returned from her vacation with a ridiculous tan – like seriously, I can’t even get that tan even in my dreams. Secondly, the intense flourescent lights have started to drive me crazy (literally, crazy). Let’s do something about this people – I vote for a return to candle light.

I went out to lunch with my coworker so that I could catch her up on everything she missed last year. I ordered a grilled cheese sandwich with sliced tomato. If anything can cure a case of the Mondays, that can. Unfortunately, they forgot to make my sandwich and I had to wait 40 minutes for it! Instead of sitting and eating leisurely, I had to scarf it down which resulted in a grease induced stomach ache for the afternoon.

On my way home from work, I forgot to put the Netflix I had been carrying around all day in the mailbox. Sadly, that delays my next shipment of “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn” for another day. Matt will probably scold me for that one – I know he has been dying to see the wedding between Bella and Edward.

When I arrived home, I was expecting to receive a package from Soap.com, my new favorite place to buy paper towels, shampoo and lysol wipes. Unfortunately, our mail room has become ridiculously slow and delayed in processing the packages, so it looks the joy I was hoping to receive from testing out my new face wash and putting away the bulk package of toilet paper will be delayed for another day (sigh).

So as you can see, my day wasn’t horrible, it just wasn’t awesome. Sometimes, that happens. You just get a case of the Mondays… but wait…

Today is Tuesday! Suddenly things don’t seem so bad.

My KitchenAid mixer, wine and butter flavored Crisco - my response to the Mondays

Spotted.

One thing I love about living in New York City is the fact that every so often, you are bound to have a celebrity siting on the streets somewhere in the city. Since moving to New York I have had the following star run-ins :

JIMMY FALLON
MARTHA STEWART
CHRISY TURLINGTON
STEVE BUCSEMI

There was one time I saw someone and I didn’t know who he was, but I knew I had seen him before. I racked my brain for hours trying to figure out who this mystery man was. I thought he was from some trashy tv show that I watched, but I just couldn’t place him. Then, months later, I spotted this same person walking on the street – but this time I had witnesses with me: Matt, our friend Nick and his girlfriend. After we passed by this unidentified celebrity, I quickly turned to Nick’s girlfriend and asked her is she recognized the person we just passed. Unfortunately she hadn’t noticed him. Thankfully, Matt and Nick overhead us discussing this and immediately Nick identified him for me.

Randy Fenoli

Immediately I knew he was right – Randy from “Say Yes to the Dress!” Not only was I impressed with Nick’s strong facial recognition skills, but I was also impressed that he had watched Say Yes to the Dress. I knew there was a reason I liked him!

Yesterday as I was walking down the street talking to my mom on the phone, I saw someone who I thought looked familiar. But what also made them stand out was the device they were talking into. Here I was, strolling down the street talking into my iPhone headphones looking all cool and city-chic. Well, the celeb in questions was holding this:

 

 So apparently, the new trend in technology is moving back to pre-cell phone times. Suddenly my apple ear buds seemed so 2010. 

Unfortunately my inability to place this celeb is driving me crazy! Again, I think he is a host or judge for one of the reality shows on Bravo/HGTV/Food Network – I think this might be a sign that I need to cut back on my trashy tv… I have spent the morning googling “Reality TV stars” but nothing yet. I am thinking that I should call up Nick and describe this guy – I have a feeling he would be able to get to the bottom of this!

My Deprived Childhood

Growing up I spent my weekends at soccer games, hanging out at the Bedford Bluffs (our swim and tennis club), at swim meets and skiing up in Maine at Sugarloaf Mountain. My parents kept Abby and I busy and I never felt like I had really missed out on anything in my childhood.

That is, until now.

Right now I am sitting in my apartment watching tv. Here are some of the comments from the show I am watching that have made it painfully obvious that I missed out on a lot growing up.

“We started spray tanning her when she was 11 months old.”I am sad to report that I got my first spray tan ever THIS year. I missed out on 27 years of bronzed skin.

 

“Popular kids aren’t ugly. The kids that are pretty get recognized sooner. You know, like in red rover, red rover. Well I want her to be my girlfriend, so I am going to call her to be on my team. It is nothing that I can change – it is just the way of the world.”
I thought that you just had to run fast to be good at Red Rover… wish I knew you just had to be pretty. It would have saved me a lot of effort.

 

“I get my groove on, get my pedicure on, get my twinkle toes shined up” (this was said by a father)
My father has never gotten a pedicure with me. No wonder we have such a strained father-daughter relationship.

 

 

“Do you want sparkle baby eyes?”
Umm, yes! I don’t even know what those are but I know that I want them. If only I had been asked…

 

“She didn’t do so good… Maybe everyone else will just mess up really bad and then we’ll be good.”
Now I am not sure about this one. I know my parents certainly supported me, especially in swimming. So maybe my parents did say this after I competed in my swim races. I can only hope!

 

“The screaming and the hitting… I don’t really get embarrassed when my daughter does it only because she is still little and it is still kinda cutesy when she does it… She does it to show the other kids and the moms that she is dominant.”
My parents told me that yelling at them, screaming and hitting wasn’t appropriate. And so ended my world domination.

 

So thank you Toddlers & Tiaras for making it painfully obviously that I had a deprived childhood. Mom and Dad, I think you have a lot to make up for… and I will start with unlimited spray tans for the next 10 years.

Sucked in by the Sap

I blame my parents for my addiction to crappy tv. Growing up, not only did we not have cable, but we only have 4 channels on our tv. I grew up on ABC, NBC, CBS and far far too much PBS. While other kids were watching Punky Brewster, 90210 and Melrose Place, Abby and I were watching Mr. Rogers and Square One. We had a limit of 30 minutes of tv each day during the week and an hour or so on the weekends. Reading, playing games and swimming took up most of our time. In truth, I was blissfully unaware of all that I was missing and honestly didn’t mind, or realize, that my childhood (and teenage years) were lacking the quality tv time of my peers.

When I went off to college I started to hear stories about Dawson’s Creek. I felt left out as I never got to meet Dawson, Joey or Pacey. Thankfully, the DVD box set came through for me. I started to form relationships with people my friends had known for years. Rory Gilmore and I became fast friends as we shared the stress of college. The parents on 7th Heaven taught me many life lessons. And I partied with Salinger siblings.

Over the years, my obsession with tv has changed from classic 90s family shows to reality shows. I now spend countless hours watching shows like American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, the Next Food Network Star, and Toddlers & Tiaras. Recently, I have become hooked on to two new shows: Losing it With Jillian Michaels and America’s Got Talent. Both of these shows have one thing in common – they play up the sap.

On the surface these shows are not good. One show follows a family struggling with obesity for 1 week of their lives. Watching over weight people learn how to eat appropriate sized portions and visit a gym isn’t a great plot for a show. The other show scours the country for marginal talent. I think that Winter Follies, the annual talent show at my high school had much more talents acts than this show is able to find. Really the acts are more bizarre than talented. But what draws me into to these shows are the sappy stories. The story of a family overcoming the evils of southern cooking. The story of a boy suffering from epilepsy who has found peace in indoor kite flying. The story of an old watch maker who shared his love of playing the harmonica with the world.

These stories of people, from the most obscure places around the world, I am embarrassed to say, have moved me to tears more than once. So I thank you, sappy reality tv, for allowing me to continue my quest in making up for lost time. Ironically, I do this by sitting in front of the tv, losing time from reality.