A Marriage Lesson

Last night I decided to make my husband a delicious and nutritious meal (well, nutritious compared to the crap we could have been eating). It consisted of veggie burgers, rice and sliced tomatoes. While you might not be that impressed, I was very impressed with myself because I didn’t have much at home to work with. I was 100% thinking I was going to have to run to the grocery store before I set out on a scavenger hunt of our kitchen.

Well, while I was cooking the rice, I was also:

  1. Doing laundry
  2. Emptying the dishwasher
  3. Putting clean sheets on the guest room bed
  4. Texting with my sister
  5. Watching the Real Housewives of Orange County

So I got distracted and burned the rice a little bit. But it was ok because I made enough that I could just soup the non-burned rice off the top.

I started to clean up and put the salvageable rice in a tupperware and scrapped the burned bits off the bottom of the pot. I left them in the pot for the time being, as I was planning to put them in the garbage later on. Unfortunately, Matt wasn’t aware of my plan and when he want to get some more rice, all that was left were the burned bits. Thankfully I caught this, just before his fork went into this mouth.

Me: “Wait… that rice is burned. Let me get you the good rice.”

Matt looked at the rice on his plate. Looked at me. Shrugged and ate it anyway.

That’s true love.

Or… is it just laziness?

High School Sweethearts

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Like Matt and I, my friend Noelle and her husband, Justin, met in high school on their school’s swim team. They dated long distance in college and eventually got married a few years after graduating college. She is my #1 go to for relationship advice, complaining about Matt’s incompetence and general life advice.

Today she sent me the following email:

Subject: Reason Justin did not take out the trash

Body of the email: “It didn’t look full”

Attachment:

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This email prompted me to ask her “how did we end up with such idiots?” Her response was spot on. “We locked them in early and attributed their ridiculousness to adolescence.”

Sometimes marrying your high school sweet heart isn’t so romantic. Just ask us! Don’t worry Noelle, at least we have each other. And blogs to publicly shame our husbands.

Nantucket Recap

For our anniversary, Matt surprised me with a trip to Nantucket. I was not expecting a weekend away, so it was quite a pleasant surprise.

We flew into Nantucket airport, which feels much more like a country club than an airport, on Friday morning. We stayed at the  Cliffside Beach Club which captured the preppy New England seaside feel to a tee. It was the absolute perfect place for a romantic, relaxing weekend trip.

Neither one of us had ever been to Nantucket before, so Matt relied on advice from our friend Laura. We loved everything that she suggested and I am happy to pass it along to you here!

DAY ONE:
After checking into our hotel (it was amazing, our room was ready at 9:30am!) we walked into town and decided to rent bikes from Young’s Bike Shop for the entire weekend. We rode around for a little bit trying to get a feel for the town before heading over the Something Natural, the most amazing sandwich shop and bakery. We decided to take our lunches to go and have a picnic at the base of one of the few lighthouses on the island, Brandt Point. After lunch we walked around town for a little and then spent the afternoon hanging out around the pool at our hotel (where I proceeded to get burned…). For dinner, we rode our bikes back to down and had a trendy/fancy Dinner at The Pearl.

DAY TWO
We woke up and had breakfast at the hotel on the beach. After relaxing for a bit, and a quick run, we rode our bikes into town and went to Provisions for ham and cheese sandwiches before heading out the Cisco Brewery for the afternoon. While here, we enjoyed the music from two different local bands and enjoyed the island’s finest beer and wine. We returned to town for a casual dinner at Brotherhood of Thieves. We ended the night with a quick (hey, we are old) trip to the local dive bar, The Chicken Box.

DAY THREE:
One our last full day, we ate breakfast on the beach again before heading into town. We decided to turn in our bikes for a scooter. Yup, that’s right, a moped. We wanted to get out a bit further so decided this was a good option. After a couple test rides around the block, we strapped on our helmets and set out for Sconset. The ride was chilly but we made it there in one piece. After walking down to Sconset Beach we had a quick lunch at Claudette’s Catering, one of the 4 places of business in this small town. After lunch we stopped by to see Sankaty Lighthouse before returning back to town. We did a little shopping and then returned to the hotel. We got in a quick workout before a romantic sunset dinner at the restaurant right next to our hotel, Galley Beach.

We woke up very early Monday morning for our flight back and were back in NYC by 8am.

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The weekend was relaxing and fun and I always enjoy going to a place where 75% of the people are wearing a Red Sox hat/shirt/sweatshirt. I’m already looking forward to our next trip back to Nantucket!

 

What love language do you speak?

I have a secret to confess.

I am currently reading a self-help book. There, I said it.

While I haven’t gone full-on Bridget Jones, I’m definitely moving in that direction. But it is ok, I was a psychology major in school. This is just continuing my education, right?

The book that I am reading is called The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. Now before you start making assumptions about my marriage, let me tell you, it is fine. It is better than fine, it is great. Matt and I are coming up on our first year of marriage next month and the 11th year of our relationship next week. I am amazed by how exciting and new our relationship still feels. And I am truly amazed by how I am constantly reminded why we fell in love 11 years ago.

That being said, I am a big believer in the saying “never stop learning.” I think it is important to apply this to all aspects of your life: never stop learning at your job, never stop learning about yourself, and never stop learning in your relationship. And even though Matt and I have been together for more than a decade, I’m the first to admit that we still have a lot to learn about each other.

The Five Love Languages highlights the importance of being able to express love to your spouse (wow, that word makes me feel old) in a way that your spouse can understand. He calls this type of communicating using the five love languages. The five languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality of Time, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. You can take a quiz to determine what language of love you prefer, here.

Now, I’ve only reach the chapters on Words of Affirmation and Quality of Time, but I am really enjoying the book. It is definitely bringing me back to college and the days when I spend my days in classes like Personality Psychology, The Psychology of Romantic Relationships and The Science of Happiness. Also, I am learning more about myself and the type of love language that I “speak”. I am starting to realize that I speak to Matt in the way that I want to be spoken to, not the way that is best for him. But enough about me, this isn’t a therapy session…

If you are a quality of time person, the book suggests, making a list of all of the activities that you enjoy doing with your spouse. I can definitely see myself in this “language style” so I thought it would be fun to create this list.

Unfortunately, after reading it over, it made me realize how big a nerd I am and how addicted to TV I have become.

A Few of My Favorite Things to Do with Matt

1. Go on long bike rides (however, this is becoming less and less fun as Matt gets more and more in shape and I can’t keep up)

2. Watch House Hunters on HGTV and predict which house they will go with.

3. HBO & ice cream on Sunday nights

4. Receive a note in the mail at work from Matt

5. Hold hands

6. Go to brunch in Brooklyn

7. Do arts & crafts together (this essentially never happens, but the few times it did, I loved it)

8. Watch New Girl and talk about our shared crush on Jess

9. Cook/Bake (particularly when Matt helps me as the sous chef)

and of course 10. Drink Bloodies with our 3rd wheel at Daddy-Os.

So feel free to judge me for reading a self-help book and for actually doing one of the “activities” that it suggested. Just remember, when Matt and I are old, wrinkly and still happily married, I am going to laugh in your face.

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The Benefits of Marriage

Sometimes I think marriage is man’s ploy to enslave women.

Since getting married I have had to clean up after two people instead of just one. I spend twice as much on groceries and toiletries. I wash double (maybe even triple) the number clothes and dishes. And I have half the amount of space in my closet. I am really not seeing the upside.

But like all things in life, it is easy to focus on the negatives.

This weekend I got to see a lot of the upsides:

Friday

Matt took Abby, her friend and me to the Rangers hockey game. Not only did he provide the tickets and purchase our food and drinks, but he also sat quietly while Abby and I communicated in the way that only sisters truly understand.

Saturday

After morning swim practice (just like the good old days) Matt let me crash his “boys brunch” at Daddy-O’s, home of the best bloody mary ever. Afterwards, I met up with two of my favorite Harvard swimming teammates and then went for a manicure. When I met back up with Matt and the boys, they all complimented me on my newly painted pink nails. It was like having 3, somewhat feminine, husbands.

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Sunday

After a quick workout, Matt and I met up with our third-wheel for a lovely Hell’s Kitchen brunch at Eatery. Afterwards, we went to the movies to watch the highly anticipated Hunger Games. It was awesome – I absolutely loved it! On the way home Matt and I stopped at Columbus Circle to purchase new running shoes. After getting fitted for a lovely pair of black and hot pink New Balance shoes – I proceeded to aimlessly walk around the store.  As I was walking around the store, Matt went over to the cash register and paid for our shoes. Although Matt and I have joint checking, we each have our own credit cards for which we have tried to set a budget. As a result his budget will be taking the hit for this purchase – if that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

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When we got home, Matt decided to get our taxes in order – a process that is so much more time consuming and complicated than you think. I thought about making some cookies but then proceeded to lie on the couch watching terrible reality tv.

Suddenly married life doesn’t look so bad.

Parenting 101

In the spring of 2010, one of my very best friends from college married her college sweetheart.

She was a member of the swim team. He played lacrosse. She majored in Government. He majored in Economics. She went to Northwestern Law School. He went to Harvard Business School. She is a practicing lawyer. He works for a successful consulting company. Oh, and I did I mention that they are ridiculously good-looking as well?

So when she told me last year that she was pregnant – I will thrilled. However, I was a little worried for their unborn child. Here was a child being brought into a home of high expectations. Both of his parents were Division I athletes. They both went to an Ivy League School. And they both went on graduate school to earn advanced degrees. They know what success was have grown to expect nothing less. I thought that if this kid didn’t come out of the womb faster than all other babies, he would be seen a failure from day one.

When the baby’s due date came and went, I fell for the kid. Already he wasn’t living up to expectations. Thankfully, he arrived in one piece on September 1st.

So now that Will has had time to adjust to his parents, “how are things going?” you ask. Well, let me just say, Will has certainly impressed us all.

He has learned to feed himself

 

He has already been drafted by an NFL team

And he has started to demonstrate his incredible swimming skills (be it in the bath tub)

 

But the very best thing that Will had added into his parents lives is laughter. It seems like every day he is reminding them, just how “not perfect” they are.


And man, what great parents that makes them! I can only hope that one day Matt and I are half as amazing as you two are.

Nothing Says Love Like Homemade Meatballs and a Teddy Bear

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Matt and I have a tradition where we go out to breakfast to celebrate before work. For some reason (I think that reason being that I am fighting off a cold) I wasn’t really feeling into that idea this year. So we decided to forgo the breakfast and didn’t plan anything special.

When I got home after work I received a phone call from Matt informing me that he was on his way home and was going to make a Valentine’s dinner. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised.

He came home with grocery bags in each arm and a box of chocolates from Jacques Torres, one of the best chocolate stores in NYC. He also carried up a package that his father had sent me. It was a Vermont Teddy Bear and the world’s cutest note:

“Thank you for marrying him. Happy Valentine’s Day. Love, Dad #2”

I immediately understood where Matt got his “moves.” Thanks Dad #2!

I sat on the couch as Matt chopped, measured and stirred. I saw a box of spaghetti but couldn’t figure out what else was going on in the kitchen…

I was impressed when Matt brought over a plate of spaghetti and homemade meatballs. I was blown away when he insisted that he would do all of the dishes and clean up the kitchen.

This morning as we were getting ready for work I was telling Matt just how impressed I was with his Valentine’s Day surprise. His response, “I bet you wish it was Valentine’s every day and I cooked and cleaned all the time.”

Umm, yeah. Like it is for you?