This weekend, while Matt was watching True Blood, I was holed up in our bedroom watching the Teen Choice Awards. Yes, at age 29 I am still watching the Teen Choice Awards. Here are a few of my take aways/impressions of the evening.
1. I had no idea who the host of the awards show was until they said her name (evidence that I am old).
I don’t really know who Demi Lovato is.. I think she was on a Disney show? But I wouldn’t be able to tell you which one without Googling her. All I really know about her is that she is staging a comeback after struggling with depression and body image. Apparently, this comeback involves the X factor, where she will join Britney Spears as a judge. Really? This girl is in the same league as Brit? I am shocked.
2. Normally, I am pretty good at predicting the winners. Since my taste in music, movies, tv shows and celebs runs along the same wave length as a 13 year old girl, this awards show is usually my sweet spot. Apparently, not this year. What’s worse, I didn’t even know who half of the winners were (more evidence that I am old).
Never heard of this movie – Choice Movie: Action, “Abduction”
Never heard of this – Choice Movie Actress: Action, Zoe Saldana, “Colombiana”
No idea who these people are – Choice TV Actor: Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Ian Somerhalder, “The Vampire Diaries” and Choice TV Actress: Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Nina Dobrev, “The Vampire Diaries”
Do I really need to start watching more ABC family and the CW? I thought I already watched enough crappy tv.
3. Let’s talk about Miley Cyrus’ staying power? She was nominated for Choice Female Hottie (I am not even going to get into what a ridiculous category name that is) and was going up against some strong contenders Selena Gomez, Katy Perry, Rihanna and Kate Upton. Now I think that in a non-teen world Kate Upton would win hands down. However, I figured Selena Gomez was going to the be clear winner. So when they announced Miley’s name, I was shocked. Don’t get me wrong, I am a big Hannah Montana fan, but let’s face it, that was so 2010. I then figured that the fans had voted for Miley because they voted her super cute fiance, Liam Hemsworth as the Choice Male Hottie. Nope! It was that guy who I didn’t even recognize earlier – Ian Somerhalder. I’ve got to hand it to Ms. Cyrus… you are staying strong among the tweens and teens who raised you.
4. Why didn’t Bieber and Selena sit together? And why didn’t the Biebs wish her a happy birthday after his performance? Justin Timberlake SO totally would have lead the crowd in Happy Birthday if it was Brit’s birthday. Sorry guys, but this generations power teen couple is not living up to the expectations set by Justin and Brit.
5. Taylor Swift. You crushed it. Your dress was awesome. Your audience dancing was awesome. Unfortunately your dates wasn’t. Please tell me that was your brother. You need to stop turning your ex-boyfriends into pop country songs. No one wants to get famous that way.
6. Jonah Hill – stop taking yourself so seriously. You were pretty much the only person who had a polished acceptance speech and thanked anyone besides the fans. Yes, I like you and you are funny but I am 29. Gain those 40 lbs back and stick to being funny. That’s how you win over the tweens.
7. Nice job Rob Pattinson for creating mass pandemonium when you “gave” your surf board to a group of dozens of screaming fans. How do you think this ends? By then all making a deal to share the surf board equally among the group? No – it ends with a fight to the death over a crappy surf board. Man – didn’t you learn anything from Bieber’s adventures in Norway?
And way to think for yourself K. Stewart and do the exact same thing. You really are an incredible role model for young girls everywhere. Wait a second, maybe you two would be good to play Christian Grey and Anastasia Steel in the 50 Shades of Grey movie. You’ve got that dom/sub thing down already.
8. The show ended with a great performance by Carly Rae Jepsen. while her performance was cute, I want to know what Canadian styled her. I know you “just” burst on to the scene and are still getting used to being “famous” but come on – you can do better than that. I know you can.
9. The most famous actor at the show was Crystal the Monkey.
This little lady has a CV that blows George Clooney out of the water:
|1997||George of the Jungle||Baby monkey|
|1998||Dr. Dolittle||Drunk Monkey|
|2001||Dr. Dolittle 2||Drunk Monkey|
|American Pie 2|
|2004||Garfield: The Movie||Pet monkey|
|2005||Fun with Dick and Jane||Test monkey|
|2006||The Shaggy Dog||Capuchin|
|Night at the Museum||Dexter|
|2006||Failure to Launch||Forest Monkey|
|2007||3:10 to Yuma|
|2009||Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian||Dexter/Able|
|2011||The Hangover Part II||Drug Dealing Monkey|
|Zookeeper||Donald the Monkey|
|2011||We Bought a Zoo||Crystal the Capuchin|
|2012||Animal Practice||Dr. Zaius
Who knew this was all the same monkey!
10. Sophie Grace and Rosie. Enough said. You stole the entire show.