5 Things Women Should Know by the Time They Turn 30

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During this morning’s today show, they grabbed my attention when Ann curry previewed an upcoming story “What every woman should know by the time she turns 30.” As someone turning 30 this year (gasp!) I was immediately intrigued. I thought to myself  “I only have 7.5 more months, maybe there is a lot of information and knowledge that I am missing – and today Ann Curry will fill that gap for me.”

So I waited and waited for the story. I waited so long that I was the tiniest bit late for work. But don’t blame me – this was information I NEEDED to know. Finally, after waiting for more than 30 minutes, I was given 5 pieces of information:

1.The ability to fall in love without losing yourself.
2. The confidence to quit a job.
3. The comfort of living alone.
4. The knowledge your body is beautiful.
5. The belief you deserve it (read very dramatically by Ann)

Not going to lie – after hearing this, I was mad that I waited around for such  ridiculous advice. I am so sick of society telling young women to “love themselves” and “feel beautiful” – these positive affirmations aren’t helpful. Women approaching 30 are looking for practical pieces of advice. If we want holistic self-empowerment ideas, we go to yoga.

As a result, I have written my own 5 things that I think every woman should know by the time she turns 30:

1. It is probably time to take out your belly button/eye brow/tongue ring. I took my belly button ring out at age 25 because I felt too old to have it. I’ve given you 5 extra years of “self-expression” — time’s up!

2. You can’t eat like you used to. Face the facts, if you care about your body, late night food is a thing of the past.

3. You aren’t sick – you are hung over. Yes, even though you “didn’t drink that much,” you are hung over. It is much harder to recover after a late night out, especially since you now have a job that you need to show up at by 9am.

4. Support yourself financially. And if you can’t – don’t broadcast to the world that mommy and daddy are still footing the bill. It is embarrassing. Especially when you are buying design handbags, getting weekly manicures and spending insane amounts of money on alcohol. Try and have a little respect for your parents and their hard-earned money.

5.  Fighting with your significant other in public is not appropriate. You make everyone else around uncomfortable. Keep your drama to yourselves. This isn’t an episode of Jersey Shore/The Hills/Laguna Beach.

6. Yes, I’ll even add in a 6th for good measure – don’t text or call someone 18 times in a row. Just because you have unlimited minutes and text messaging, it doesn’t make it ok. The ONLY time this is acceptable is if there is an emergency (just so we are clear – drunk dials are not emergencies).

I could go on with more but I don’t want to totally steal the show from Glamour Magazine.

If you are offended by anything I have written, I have one more piece of advice. Learn to accept criticism with grace and dignity. Sometimes a long hard look in the mirror can reveal more than the wrinkles beginning to set in.

5 thoughts on “5 Things Women Should Know by the Time They Turn 30

  1. “Learn to accept criticism with grace and dignity. Sometimes a long hard look in the mirror can reveal more than the wrinkles beginning to set in.” Well done, my dear. Well done.

  2. Mostly I agree but @ close to 30×2……
    Re Criticism: I rather like Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements #2 “Don’t take anything personally” because, really, criticism is just bitchy! Constructive advice is something altogether different.
    First husband used to provoke and goad me into fights in public and when I’d finally lose it, he’d call me a low-life. (Yes, counseling may have taught me how to better cope, but the point is, you don’t ever know the “back story” and it is best not to judge. Still working on #1 Be impeccable with your word #3 Don’t make assumptions and #4 Always do your best).
    Lastly:
    If I had a hard, flat stomach, I’d get a belly ring in an instant.

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